wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
