the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
