You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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