Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
