So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize