just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the liver wants what the liver wants
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
