She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
