I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
