His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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