go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize