u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize