Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
