She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if only i could text you this smell
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
worst night to have a conscience
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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