fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
