New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
