im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
