You can't special order awesome
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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