i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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