He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
