I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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