Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
