your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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