My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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