just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
