I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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