I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
