He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
