i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
