I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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