If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
