i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
