The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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