So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
