whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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