i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
