at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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