I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
