when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
