I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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