How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
