Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
