You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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