Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
