So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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