You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
These tits shall not be calmed
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