Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
