This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
