I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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