Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
its liver damage thursday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
