If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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