Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
