she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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