there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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