Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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