ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
