Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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