Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
