One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
