You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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