the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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