I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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