if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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