Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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